An April Fools’ ‘Ode to Floss and Loss’

WEST ALLIS, WIS., March 29, 2011 – The 2,900 member dentists of the Wisconsin Dental Association remind people of all ages that practicing good daily oral hygiene is no joke even on April Fools’ Day.

This “Ode to Floss and Loss” was penned by WDA member and Sheboygan general dentist Dr. Robert Darling who has a special appreciation for another doctor – Dr. Seuss.

That Dr. Keith,
That Dr. Keith,
I do not like that Dr. Keith!

Would you, could you floss your teeth?

I do not want to floss my teeth.

Would you floss them here or there?

I will not floss them here or there.
I will not floss them anywhere.
I will never floss my teeth.
I will not floss them, Dr. Keith!

What if you have something stuck?

I will not floss if something’s stuck.
Not a popcorn hull or Peking Duck.
I will never floss my teeth.
I will not floss them, Dr. Keith.

Don’t you want to prevent decay?

I don’t care about decay.
I have insurance and they will pay.
I will never floss my teeth.
I will not floss them, Dr. Keith.

What about your gum disease?

I don’t have any gum disease.
I don’t have scurvy, gout or fleas.
I will never floss my teeth.
I will not floss them, Dr. Keith.

This sad patient left in a huff,
Leaving behind his floss and stuff.
Years later, he ran into Dr. Keith,
“My mouth is sore and has loose teeth.
But I did discover what floss is good for,
To yank them out when I slam the door.”

The WDA was established in 1870. With more than 2,900 members statewide, the WDA represents 88 percent of all licensed dentists in Wisconsin. WDA members are committed to promoting professional excellence and quality oral health care.